Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Sarge, you look fabulous in those cammies

During those hot and hormonal days of the Clinton administration, the U.S. military was poised--I kid you not--to unleash a "gay bomb."

A watchdog group that tracks military spending recently stumbled across a 1994 U.S. Air Force proposal for a hormone weapon that would turn exposed soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex and antiquing than fighting—yes, a Gay Bomb. “The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistibly attractive to one another,” Edward Hammond of the investigating Sunshine Project told CBS 5 News in Berkeley, Calif.

Actually, wouldn't that be two weapons in one? I mean, the bomb would first have to turn the enemy troops gay, and second, make them hot for one another. That is, besides the gender-bending effects of watching a marathon session of the Bravo channel, it would also have to have the long-sought power of mythical Spanish Fly.

That sounds like a tall order.

I mean, wouldn't it just be easier to ... I don't know ... blow them up, maybe?



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