But they're role models!

And it's Congress's business whether private-sector athletes employed by for-profit companies are taking performance-enhancing drugs because ...?

I mean, Major League Baseball didn't hold hearings when Sen. McCain's wife, Cindy, was outed for popping painkillers like they were M&Ms.

Honestly, even if you support drug prohibition (I don't), it's hard to make a case that it's a legitimate federal concern if professional baseball players are revealed to be taking prescription drugs without benefit of a doctor's note to boost their averages and extend their careers. At most, this should be a matter for local prosecutors.

Personally, I don't care if athletes are locking themselves in hotel rooms with whiskey and hookers, a la Babe Ruth, shooting steroids, or uploading their brains into carefully crafted robot bodies. I just want to see them excel on the playing field.